Are You A "Reactive" Woman? Or A "Feminine" Woman?
Are you a "reactive" woman? Or a "feminine" woman? Do you desire to deepen into your femininity, but aren't really sure how to get there?
Let's explore some of these edges for a moment...
Women will tell me: "Rebecca, are you telling me I can't be authentic and tell people how I truly feel?"
I always desire you to be heard with what you truly feel, but its very uncommon for most of us to truly give the time and consideration to ourselves in deep reflection. Think about the last time you got caught up in reactivity, it was a tide that pulled you under and took over who you truly are. Often times, through our work behind the scenes, women will often realize that what they call "authentic" is often rooted in drama, codependency, neediness that is displaced, burdensome behaviors that aren't another's responsibility, invalidation and reactivity.
Reactivity is when we are hyper vigilant, expecting rejection or attributing rejection to any activity that challenges our certainty in love. It is when our first move is to take things personally and make it about us--where we lead through a spirit of rejection, instead of trust.
You know how it goes.
You're on your way to a meeting, and you run into a client who has been having issues with their website. They say they'll be ready for the meeting in 5 minutes, but then they need another 15 minutes because they were interrupted by their dog. Now this places you on a trajectory where you will be late the whole day. You are frustrated, agitated, resentful and angry.
Now, we have a tendency to associate reactivity in the exasperated overwhelming dosage of energy. But, truth be told, it can be in the small ways too. Notice how your inner child reacts when a client meeting doesn't go the way you wanted. Or, when you're calling someone you feel particularly excited about and you get shut down - how does your body respond? How about when the dog, husband, child throws up right as you are on your way out of the house and it puts you 15 minutes late.
Take into account next time, how your energy is reacting when something is simply feeling uncomfortable and we want to immediately change it. Reactivity is a very old and almost demanding way of getting and staying in control because we know we are being observed. It's primal, it's dominant and seemingly takes over. It's the way we survived as children. The way we learned how to get what we needed from our parents by making them feel guilty or guilty-ish.
But...this reactive behavior is highly ineffective at getting what we need as adults because it creates drama rather than results! It's what we've been taught to do since the beginning of time - and it's keeping us from experiencing true empowerment in our lives, jobs, relationships and careers.
Feminine energy isn't just breathing in the day.
When my assistant messes up, I don't freak out and react at her. I give her space to grow and to learn, because I know how hard she works at it. I don't look for perfection, I look for growth. Giving her and everyone around me ( or offers me services ) some grace brings ME happiness, peace and joy. Looking for every small mistake made and having a massive trigger over it, only kills my health, radiance and joy and puts me on edge.
My cleaning lady made a mistake last week, and I had to step in for some corrective action. I sat down with her, gave her a drink of water and she opened up to me about how her mother ( who she cares for ) had just been diagnosed with a life ending diagnosis and she had been so stressed about things that it just got the best of her. I set a boundary but then gave her space and asked her what was wrong. I then gave her a hug. She then texted me saying that was the first hug she had received in years.
I expect excellence, I do not demand perfection.
I expect service, I do not demand slavery.
I expect hard work, I do not demand ownership of people.
You can be demanding or you can be supportive.
Guess which one will take you further in life? Guess which one how you'd desire to how you show up with your business? Guess which one is a mirror as well, with how you show up in your dating life, marriage or with men in general?
Complaining, projecting, blaming or partnering, appreciating and healthily communicating needs.
The choice is yours.
The world needs more empowered and wealthy women.
Women who aren’t burned out.
Women who aren’t financially and emotionally wigged out!
Women who have boundaries and aren’t afraid to be BOLD.
Are you ready for the change?!
Did you notice how you were sinking into the idea of this?
I only work with loving, passionate, ethical, whip-smart, courageous, fierce, spiritual, and visionary implementers—or as I like to call you: actionistas!
If that’s you, then welcome! You’re in the perfect place.
Click below to take the first step in your journey.